Will You Still Love Me?
by xXxhurting-insidexXx
Summary: Random Dream Turned Oneshot ; She Loved Him , Hardly Knowing When She First Started . But he had A Thing For Her Much Older & prettier Sister .. So WHY Was He Looking At Her As If He'd Die To have Her ? Rated M For Language , Themes , Etc. R&R Please !


**Random Dream I Had That Bothered Meh So I Decided To Make It A Story :/ …**

**Will You Still Love Me?**

**HER**

They were together like they always were, laughing and having fun. She knew he was hiding something, but she also knew he would never tell her what. She didn't know how long she'd known him, or how long she'd liked him, but she did know how much he meant to her. For the past couple of years, he'd been a constant figure in her life, house, and heart. She knew it was wrong to like him, to have feelings for him, but he was the kind of guy she always wanted to be with. He was one of the funniest, sweetest, _**hottest **_guys she ever knew.

She knew he had a thing for her sister, and she'd tried like Hell to not notice it. It hurt that she would never be pretty enough for a guy like him to notice her. And that he told her that he'd have to be completely shitfaced _**drunk **_for him to even be attracted to her. She knew she wasn't anything special, but to hear those words come from _**him **_of all people made her believe that she'd never be good enough for anyone.

So, they were on their way to his mom's house. She was nice enough to her, but she could tell how his mom loved her sister far much more than herself. Was she doomed to always come second to her sister? Her much older, prettier, skinnier, _**unvirgined**_ sister? Holding back tears, she watched the wooded landscape pass by her as her sister drove. They passed the construction site by the shore and she sighed softly. Besides her lack of good looks, her virginity made her frigid to guys. She was 17 and still a virgin. Whenever she told a guy she was a virgin, they all pretended to understand, but then they always ended up cheating on her with girls who weren't. It tore her apart each time it happened.

"Earth to Lex," she heard a British voice call out. Turning her head she looked into _**his **_eyes. They were dancing with playfulness and fondness of sorts, but when he looked at her sister, she saw his feelings for her. So, biting her inner cheek, she plastered a smile on her face and exited the car, pretending to not notice how close he always stood to her sister. She walked ahead of them and to the side, seeing how he watched her from the corner of her eye. She was the first one in the house, like always.

"Hello dear!" She looked up into Sheila's happy eyes and gave her a watery smile. She heard them come in the door behind her but she didn't turn around. "Honey, what's wrong?" Sheila asked her softly and she shook her head, going to walk around her. Sheila caught her in a tight hug and she felt tears pool behind her closed eyes. Sheila pulled back a few moments later and patted her cheek. She watched as Sheila's eyes lit up when she saw her sister Brenda and how she hugged her in such a motherly way. She gave their affectionate tableau a sad look and again saw him watching her.

She chanced a glance at him and he furrowed his brow at her. She just shook her head softly and gave him a half smile.

"So, what brings you all here to see me?" Sheila asks and Brenda laughs.

"Well, we heard you were baking your famous cookies so we thought we'd come by and snag some," Brenda says whilst smiling and Sheila nods and laughs.

"Very well then, they're this way," Sheila walks towards the kitchen and Brenda follows, leaving her with him for a few moments alone. She goes to walk down the hall but his voice stops her.

"Are you okay, Hun?" He asks her and she looks into his scarily dark eyes before nodding and walking into the kitchen. She stops when she sees her one comfort, when the pain of seeing Brenda and Randy together is too sharp, Will. A real smile breaks across her face when he looks up at her and smiles.

"Hey there, squirt!" He calls out, smiling. "Get over here," he says, holding out his arms to her. She smiles and runs over to him, laughing when he picks her up, swinging her in a circle. She kisses his cheeks when he puts her down and he blushes lightly. "How are you?" He asks, and she hears his double meaning.

"Better now that you're here," she replies honestly and he nods. "What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't come down today," she tells him, frowning slightly. She didn't realize their arms were still around each other until she heard Sheila clear her throat. She blushed and let go of Will. "Sorry, Sheila." Sheila just smiled and shook her head.

**oOo**

They hung out for a couple hours before she noticed that Will, Brenda, _**and **_Randy had all disappeared. She went looking for them, fear sinking into the pit of her stomach.

"Who are you looking for dear?" Sheila asks and she jumps.

"Randy, Will, and Brenda," she answers and she sees a look cross Sheila's face before she smiles and nods towards the back door.

"They went out that way a little bit ago," she says and she gave her a thank you before heading towards the door. Taking a deep breath she placed a shaking hand on the knob, turning it and pushing open the door. What she saw made her jaw drop and her heart shatter. Her hand slipped off the knob and tears pooled in her eyes.

She watched as Randy and Brenda sat on the picnic table…_**kissing**_. She watched as they broke their kiss and Randy began to kiss Will, both men reaching out to stroke Brenda. She didn't realize she'd been walking over to them when Randy broke the kiss and turned his head, his eyes opening and meeting hers. His face paled out and his eyes looked so guilty. He made to get off the table when she turned and ran.

"_**Lex!**_" He yells from behind her, but she is already in the house, running down the hallway and out the front door. "_**Lex!**_ _**Let me explain!**_" His voice sounded closer as she ran down the driveway and towards the construction site. Brenda and Will's voices joined his as they ran after her. Tears blurred her vision as she slipped on the wet ground and got mud on herself. She thought about giving up when the hurt and adrenaline overtook her, giving her the strength to keep running. She climbed onto the trucks and in between the cars and stacks of pipes and woods, scraping her skin raw. But still she ran. She looked back once and saw that _**he **_was the only one still chasing after her. A sob escapes her lips as she makes it to the sandbar cliffs, squeezing into the hole she'd made the last time she'd come here. She walks over to the ledge and sits down, her feet dangling off the sheer drop. Sobs take over her and she hunches over, covering her face with her hands.

"_**Lex!**_" She opens her eyes to see Randy below her, panting and breathing heavily, beads of sweat trickling down his face. "Come down from there…Please," he begs, his accent thicker than she'd ever heard it. She shakes her head. Brenda and Will soon join him, along with some of the townspeople.

"Lex," her sister calls to her. "Please, it's…It's not what you think."

"Then what is it?" She screams at them. "Why would you do this to me? W-Why would you d-do t-this to m-m-me?" Sobs ripped through her throat and she slid closer off the edge.

"Lex, don't you _**dare **_move!" Will says sternly. She looked at him and around her, sniffling and wiping the tears from her face. She slides a little more and looks down at the drop that awaits her.

"Lex…_**Please!**_" She glances up at Randy who now was closer to her than the rest. Closing her eyes, which lets tears cascade down her stained cheeks, she lifts her arms and allows her body to fall forward, hearing the wordless cries from 15 different voices. She feels a slightly painful thud and then warmth as darkness encases her. And then…There's nothing.

**oOo**

Voices. There were voices in her ears. Annoying little voices. She wondered if this was what Heaven felt like. If when you die, you're surrounded by voices of the people that betrayed your trust, and wounded you more deeply than any other. Funny because she only heard four voices, each one sounding as if they cared. How ironic it was, since none of them cared about her feelings.

"Lex? Can you hear me?" She'd know that voice anywhere. It was _**his **_voice. She felt a hand touch her cheek softly and stroke it, and knew it was his. She turns her head away from him and opens her eyes, clenching her jaw tightly. "Lex…Oh thank goodness!" Odd how…_Happy _he sounds that she was alive, she thought to herself. But she knew now that it was all for show. He never cared about her, not one bit. "Lex?" He asks softly, touching her again.

"_**Don't **_touch me," she growls at him, turning her head to glare at him. He drops his hand and gives her a pained look. She sees Brenda and Will off to the side, along with Sheila, watching her. "Why?" She pleads. Brenda looks up with tears in her eyes and comes over to the bed she was lying on. She sits up, despite the light throbbing in her head, and glares at her sister.

"Lex, just let us expla…"

"There's _**nothing **_to explain," she spits at them. "I trusted all of you. Especially you," she aims a glare at Will. "You did this on purpose, didn't you?"

"It just happened, I swear!" He replies, his eyes shining. She shakes her head, and pushes both her sister and _**him **_away from her, standing up and walking over to the door.

"You best get back in that bed, little missy," Sheila says and she gives her a look that makes her back down. "Don't go too far, ya hear?" She merely nods, knowing she isn't listening. She had no reason to.

When she was safely away from them all, she threw open the front door and bolted down the steps, taking off down the driveway and road. She knew it was pointless, especially when she heard footsteps chasing her, again. Despite her head and legs screaming for her to stop, she pushed herself harder, not knowing what she was trying to outrun.

"Lex!" Of course it would be _**him**_, it was always him. His voice always did something to her heart, sending it into overdrive, and it was because of this that she didn't know how close he actually was until she felt big strong hands wrapping around her waist. The air escapes her lungs with a _whoosh _as he holds her tightly against his body, breathing a little heavily. His breath is hot against her exposed neck and she shivers helplessly. "Don't you _**ever **_run away from me again," he bites off at her ear and she turns her head to look into his eyes which are crazed with worry and something else.

"Why should you care if I do? And who said I was running away from _**you**_?" Her breath comes in shaky bursts, his proximity to her intoxicating. She tries to meet his gaze but sadness like no other pours through her and she looks away, tears blurring her vision. She feels his hands slip from around her and she slumps forward onto the ground. She shivers at the loss of heat and rises into a standing position, looking the long way up to his dark eyes.

"I'm sorry that you saw what happened," he says. That's it. She balks and furrows her brows, shaking her head at him incredulously.

"So, you're not sorry you did it, but you're sorry I caught you? Nice, just fucking _**nice**_," she glares at him, her heart breaking.

"Can I please explain?" He begs, giving her the saddest look she'd ever seen. She scoffs and nods, folding her arms across her chest. "I don't know what happened, I really don't. We were just talking and everything when Will said he was attracted to us and that he just couldn't take it anymore. You know I've been single for almost two years, Lex," he says as if that explains it enough. "I just couldn't refuse. Brenda admitted that she was attracted to me, and you know I've always wanted to hear her say that. So, we went outside and we kissed…" His voice fades off as he shrugs. "I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did. And you know I care about you, you know that baby girl. And," he begins, taking a step closer to her, "I know you were running from me. Who else would have it been? We've had issues in the past, and we never really resolved them. This was the catalyst, love," he reasons and she shakes her head.

"If this would've happened two years ago, maybe I would've believed it, but not now. If you really didn't mean for it to happen, you _**never **_would've done it, and you know that. And if any of you had _**really **_cared about me or my feelings, you would've come up to me sooner and told me. And here it is, I can't stand any of you! Just go back to them and cry your eyes out," she shoved him, "give them your shitty excuses," another shove, "go find some other girl you care about," she now stood inches apart from him, "one who will believe your lies without thinking twice, one who can stand to be near you." The tears trickled down her face and he stood up straighter and with a curt nod, turned and walked away. She waited until he was out of sight to let out a vicious sob, falling to her knees. "What have I done?" She whispers to no one.

"What have I done?" He pleads to no one, hunching his shoulders over as he walked back to the house filled with his biggest regret. Too bad he didn't know what that was. She always ruined everything…

**oOo**

Two months. A meaningless amount of time if you're in love or happy. But to her, the next two months were some of the worst. He hated her. She hated herself. And him…Sort of. She hated that he lied to her and hurt her, but she just didn't know how to hate _**him**_. After that day, she'd gone home and hadn't left her room since. Whenever she did, it was to use the bathroom or get a drink, but only when no one was around. She cried herself to sleep, even after she forgave her sister and Will.

"Lex, this isn't healthy," she hadn't noticed her sister's entrance into her room. Her eyes stay trained on the wall as a tear escapes her left eye. She felt Brenda wipe it off and her eyes close. "Come for a drive with me," she invites and she manages to turn her head to look at her sister.

"Why?" Her voice is hoarse from not having been used in…How long had it been? Two weeks? Maybe three? She tried to clear her throat, but it was dry. So, in search of a drink, and not finding one, she sighs and lies back down on the bed. "Just leave, Brenda…" She begs in a whisper.

"No," she says sternly, sitting on the edge of her bed. "Not until you listen to me. I know you forgave me and Will, even though neither of us deserves it. So why can't you forgive him?" Her heart gave a painful jolt at the mention of _**him **_and she lets out a small sob.

"God, Brenda," she starts, sitting up and looking at her sister. "Don't you think I've wanted to? He _**hates **_me now, haven't you noticed? I want to forgive him, but I don't see the point in trying to if he can't even stand me. I know you've been with him these past couple of weeks," she accuses, seeing the guilty look in her sister's eyes. "I can't do it, Brenda." A sigh is her answer and she watches Brenda get off the bed and rummage through her clothes. "What are you doing?"

"You're getting out of this room, one," she replies, digging through her drawers. "Two, you're going with me," she looks up at her. "And three, you're going to wipe away those damned tears and try to smile. You've been like this before and you were almost put in a hospital. I couldn't bear it if you were actually put in one." For the first time in a long time, her sister's emotions leaked through and her voice cracked. She sighs and nods, getting up to take a shower.

When she returned, freshly washed, shaved, and dressed, it felt surreal. She gave herself a look over in the mirror, noticing how dead her eyes were. She couldn't even muster a smile. Sighing, she put on her eyeliner and perfume, along with her socks and converse. She walked down the hallway and cried out as the bright light of the living room made her eyes water. Her sister gives her a sad look, but offers her her hand. She takes it gingerly, still unaccustomed to human contact. She flinches slightly as her sister's hand contracts on hers.

"It's okay," she coaxes. "Everything is gonna be okay, I promise." They make their way to the car and get in. Her motions are robotic, having done nothing for two weeks but cry. Her sister puts on music and the song makes tears pool in her eyes. Instead of giving Brenda the satisfaction at seeing her cry, she looks down at her phone that she hadn't touched in a while and turned it on, sadly noticing how many calls and texts she'd gotten. Shock, and hope, course through her when she sees that most of the messages are from _**him**_. "He's been worried about you," her sister comments and she jumps. "Sorry, I know you're not used to being around people much anymore…"

She just shrugs, hiding her face behind a curtain of her hair. It had gotten longer since she'd been in isolation, maybe a couple inches. It really needed to be cut again, but _**he **_had told her how he loved her hair. So, she'd never cut it after that, for some ungodly reason wanting to please him and make him happy. She scoffs as she leans against her hand, resting her elbow on the door of the car. Everything she'd done had been to make _**him **_happy, keep _**him **_smiling. And he could care less.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the car stopped and her sister turned the ignition off. She looks up and her mouth falls open when she sees the house they arrived at, the house she had vowed to _**never **_return to again: _**his **_house. She turns to look at her sister and her sister smiles sadly.

"Why would you bring me here?" She demands, her lower lip trembling. She hears a door close and she looks up and sees the face that has haunted her dreams for two months. Her breath quickens and her hands go sweaty as her heart races. She still had feelings for him, despite everything he'd done. When he meets her eyes, she had never seen a more broken man. Her heart broke for him and she made a soft sad sound. When he gets closer to the car, she locks the door, determined to stay sane for even just a single minute longer. If she looked at him for another minute she would break down. And she couldn't have that.

"Open the door, Lex," he says softly, his voice cracking. She shakes her head. "Please." She sighs sadly and, with shaking hands, reluctantly pops the lock. He closes his eyes and sighs. "Thank you," he whispers and opens her door, pulling her out of it.

"I'll come by later," Brenda says and she gasps, turning to look at her.

"You're not staying?" She shakes her head. "Why?"

"Because you need to do this on your own, Lex. Trust me, everything will be fine." With a last nod, she pulls out of the driveway, leaving her alone with _**him**_. She watched where she disappeared for the longest time.

"Can't you look at me?" He whispers, gently touching her shoulder. She jumps and looks at him, still not used to other people.

"Maybe," she answers, her voice sounding funny. He frowns at her and she sighs. "I kn-know you hate me," she begins, clearing her throat. He starts to say something but she shakes her head. "Let me get this out before I can't," she says and he nods, staying silent, but keeping his eyes trained on her. How amazing he still looked, how broken, how godly. "I _**know **_you hate me, and I've tried like Hell to hate you…But," she says sadly, meeting his gaze and reaching up touch his face. "I just…_**Can't**_. I can't hate you for loving my sister, for not telling me, for being a guy because if I did…Then I'd be as horrible a person as any. You love my sister, I can see it in your eyes, the way you look at her, the way you hug her and kiss her, the way you talk to her. And that's okay, love," she whispers to him.

"Because I know any girl would be lucky to have you. I…I forgive you," she tells him, letting a single tear escape. "You don't have to worry about poor little me anymore. I'll be fine, like always. You two deserve each other. Just invite me to the wedding." She didn't add that her heart would break at the sight of them together, that she would never be the same again, and that she wouldn't be able to stay here anymore. As soon as they got together officially, she'd leave. Take that scholarship at Pacific Vista, if they still wanted her. She'd be 3000 miles away, she could start over. Yea, that would work…Hopefully. He shocked her by taking her into his arms tightly and rocking her back and forth.

"You are an amazing person, love," he says to her and she hugs him back hesitantly, nodding despite the pain in her chest. She doesn't speak, afraid of her voice betraying her. "You've stuck by me for two years, even when I upset you and made you mad. I couldn't imagine my life without you. I don't ever want to see you hurt by me again. You're sister is a lucky person," he mumbles, nuzzling her neck with his nose. He breathes in deep and she shivers, knowing that this will be the last time she could ever hold him again. "I thought I'd lost you that day," he whispers, reminding her of the day that she'd found them kissing. "All I could think of was what would happen if you would've died. I wouldn't've been able to live," he whispers, and she feels his body shaking. Her heart lurches and she pulls back to look at him, furrowing her brow.

"You shouldn't say stuff like that," she tells him, wiping away his tears. "Brenda wouldn't like it." His jaw drops and he starts to shake his head.

"Wait…You think I want her?" He asks, his voice incredulous.

"Don't you?" She enquires back. He shakes his head and gives her one of his toothed smiles that always melts her heart. Speaking of melting…

"You wanna know why I ended up kissing her?" He asks and she nods her head slowly. He kisses her forehead and she gasps, her heart racing.

"Because I knew I couldn't have you…It tore me up every day to have to watch you, knowing you couldn't ever be mine. Yes, I _**did **_have a crush on Brenda, but I don't anymore. I will _**always **_want _**you**_," he whispers, touching her face gently. She swallows nervously and stands silent, unsure of what to say.

As the minutes tick by, the light fades out of his eyes and doubt clouds his features.

"I'm too late." It wasn't a question. She gasps and shakes her head, desperate to keep him. "Than what is wrong?"

"I worry if this is really what you want. I-I'm nothing special. I wouldn't even want me," she says exasperated and insecurity filling her heart. He gives her an incredulous look.

"_**Of course **_this is what I want! Why would I want anything else?" He pauses to glance at her lips and back up to her eyes, smirking as he catches the way her breathing speeds up. "I wonder…" He murmurs, and she gasps when his lips press against hers. A hunger she'd only known once, years ago, made itself known and she reached up and began to kiss him back. She feels him smile against her lips and he pulls back to look at her, a renewed light within him. She swallows nervously under his scrutiny, her body _**well **_aware of his pressing against hers. "I only wonder," he begins and she meets his curious eyes.

"What?" She whispers, not trusting her voice just yet. He smiles softly at her and squeezes her waist, wrapping his arms around her. He leans in closer to her, his mouth tickling her ear.

"I wonder," he whispers in her ear, making her heart race, "if you'll still love me, despite everything that's happened." He kisses her neck softly and she sighs, her body going languid in his arms.

"I'd be insane if I didn't," she whispers back to him. "But, will you ever learn to love me…?" She had to know if she was wasting her heart on him.

"Baby girl," he whispers, trying not to laugh, "_**I will always love you**_…" And then, she smiled. And couldn't seem to stop. He smiled with her and she pulled his head down to kiss him once again. If this was a dream she never wanted it to end.

They kissed until they both couldn't stand, at which point they simply sat on the ground and held each other, their hearts feeling whole for the first time in a long time. She didn't know what would become of them, but at this point…Nothing mattered except the fact that he _**loved **_her, and wanted to be with her. _**Her**_. The girl whom had cherished him ever since the day she met him. He was her everything.

**Sooooo Yeag :/ … **


End file.
